What’s up with all the waterworks? Does your dog whine, wiggle, and pee when you return home after a long day? Or does your dog pee when you pet him? Ever wonder why dogs pee when you come home? If you have a new holiday pup, you may face this issue, especially with very young dogs.
Dogs pee when excited, and puppies pee when scared. It also can be a sign of deference, especially in puppies, and this normal display happens when the dog declares you as the “boss.” Of course, you don’t want your dog to be scared. We want our dogs to offer deference to us, but the wet floor ratchets up YOUR stress levels, too. After all, the dog is house trained and knows better, and you’ve shamed him so he understands wetting isn’t acceptable.
What’s a caring pet parent to do?
Why Dogs Pee When You Come Home
Not all wetting has to do with house training or with urinary incontinence. Dogs use urine to communicate in a variety of ways, and wetting at home-comings has very specific meaning. Urinating in your presence, especially with the wiggly wagging and crouching body language, means,
“You’re the BOSS!”
Yep, submissive urination is the ultimate in signaling doggy deference. Consider this a back-handed compliment because your dog thinks so highly of you he wants to show his respect by squatting and peeing.
Puppies usually outgrow the behavior, but some very submissive or fearful dogs continue as adults. The dog typically throws himself at your feet, wiggles and averts his eyes, squats and wets. Sometimes he turns onto his back before wetting. The behavior commonly happens during greetings when you return after an absence.
Punishing Submissive Wetting Makes It Worse
Patting the head can look threatening to some shy dogs. So they wet to diffuse the perceived threat. When you react with upset words, the dog figures you didn’t understand—so they pee when you pet them even more.
Angry reactions make it worse. Yelling, shaming, touching, or even making eye contact tells the dog he’s not yet submissive enough, and that makes him pee even more. You can teach him better control and more confidence so he doesn’t feel the urge to wet.
How to Stop Submissive Wetting and Dogs Peeing When Excited
Ignore the behavior and clean up the mess without making eye contact or saying a word.
When he wets for another dog, let the dominant canine make his point before calling him away.
When homecomings trigger submissive wetting, ignore the dog for the first ten minutes after you’ve walked in the door. Turn your back and walk away to give him time to calm down and gain control. Avoid paying attention to any of the dogs if they’re nearby, or your tone of voice will still influence Rex’s emotions.
Instead of head pats, scratch his chest, or beneath his chin once he’s calmed down.
Speak in a gentle voice. Men can unintentionally sound gruff and dominant to the dog, so practice expressing your inner softie nature.
Don’t be emotional. Loud voices, shaming, or sometimes even baby talk can encourage the dog to continue peeing. Be matter of fact.
Avoid eye contact if you see the dog squat. Other dogs use direct stares to intimidate and assert their position, so look away until your pooch regains control.
When greeting the dog, avoid “looming” over top of him the way dominant dogs do. Instead, give the dog space by backing up and asking the dog to come and sit, over and over.
Keep backing up, ignore the “wet” sits, and gently praise and offer food or toy rewards for dry sits so Rex learns that NOT wetting prompts the payday.
I love hearing from you, so please share comments and questions. Do you have an ASK AMY question you’d like answered? Do you have a new kitten and need answers? Stay up to date on all the latest just subscribe the blog, “like” me on Facebook, and sign up for Pet Peeves newsletter. Stay up to date with the latest book giveaways and appearances related to my September Day pet-centric THRILLERS WITH BITE!
Amy Shojai, CABC is a certified cat & dog behavior consultant, a consultant to the pet industry, and the award-winning author of 35+ pet-centric books and Thrillers with Bite! Oh, and she loves bling!
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2 Comments
Frank Steele
on May 29, 2021 at 9:29 am
As always, a lot of things I never knew. Thank you!
How do you stop a cat fight? And how do you know if the cat fighting turns serious—rather than just kitten play? Shadow-Pup thinks it’s great fun to chase and wrestle with Karma-Kat. We supervise, of course, and interrupt the play should one or the other object.
If you’re looking for help with dog aggression, go here.
There are many kinds of cat aggression, and many are perfectly normal behaviors. Certainly, it’s not fair to you or the cats to allow cats to fight. Learn how to recognize the potential and reasons behind cat aggression and fighting cats, and what you can do.
On Monday September 11, 2023, a tiny speck of a kitten made her presence known with very loud MEWS and a personality way bigger than anyone expected. Hungry, full of fleas, and the expected roundworms (and probably tapes because…fleas), her eyes and ears looked too big for her delicate wedge-shaped face.
Now, I get alerts about “found” kittens all the time, and sadly, can’t take any of them. This baby proved different in so many ways–only some of which I can share. While at the grocery picking up kitten food, my husband called and I explained my next stop at church—Trinity Lutheran—where I hoped to find a forever-home for the baby with a family who tragically lost a beloved kitty. And I told him if that didn’t work out, we likely had a third furry wonder for our home.
My friends at church, not yet ready to welcome a new pet, meant that the kitten came home with me. It seems that the Higher Being with whom all things are possible, made sure she found her way to us. He knew we needed her as much as she needed us.
How to Read Dog Poop: Normal Dog Poop to Dog Poop Problems
Everyone who shares a home (and heart) with a dog at some point must deal with dog poop problems. Learning what’s normal, to yellow colored stool, or learning how serious blood in dog’s stool diarrhea may be helps get your dog help. While it may not be the most appealing topic, learning about your dog’s “creativity” offers important insight into his health.
Not only his food, but also your dog’s environment and emotional state, affects how his body works. Fear, anxiety, and stress can change a dog’s behavior, but also can disrupt digestion and cause enteritis. That in turn affects his poop.
Recognizing healthy elimination helps pet owners alert to abnormal eliminations. That way, when necessary, you can get your dog prompt medical help to diagnose and treat problems before they become worse.
I created an online store to sell my digital and print titles DIRECT TO YOU! In today’s world, with so much up in the air, many authors now make direct book sales available, because we control the price (and can DISCOUNT to you!), and because … well, I have control over Amy Shojai’s books.
Yes, you can still find all of my titles on the various platforms (Amazon, B&N, Kobo, Apple, GooglePlay, Audible, Chirp and more). This way, though, I earn more on each sale while offering you, dear readers, a better deal than other retailers. That means I can write more books, update existing titles, and keep providing you with what you need.
Read on to learn more about Amy Shojai Books Direct!
When your dog meets you at the door, head low with ears slicked back and eyes averted, is that a canine apology? Does your dog look guilty? The behaviors certainly mimic what humans associate with feeling shame or apology.
We know dogs can feel grief, but whether guilty behavior accurately reflects the dog’s true feelings is open to debate. Learn more about what your dog says with these behaviors!
September 19-25 is National Adopt A Less Adoptable Pet Week, founded by PetFinder.com. The organization encourages shelters and rescues to create special week-long events devoted to giving overlooked pets like those with disabilities a better chance at finding homes.
This struck a chord with me, especially after living with a tri-pawd dog when Bravo lost his leg. He didn’t act disabled, though. Have you ever adopted an other-abled pet or less adoptable pet?
What Is A Less Adoptable Pet
Why less adoptable? They’re the wrong breed or have special needs. Overlooked pets include deaf dogs or deaf cats, blind pets, or those missing a limb. Many folks prefer the ‘perfect’ cute puppy or kitten and don’t want a crippled pet, or just don’t like the color of the dog or cat. Of course, we know black dogs and cats, and those with only one eye, or three legs, still love us with all their furry hearts! Read on…
Know the Puppy Mill Score—Puppy Source Check List There are many places to find your dream puppy, and some are clearly better options than others. Avoid puppy mills at all cost. Of course, your heart can overrule logic if you are smitten by a needy baby, but...
Congratulations! Your hard work has paid off, and Kitty no longer fears the carrier and handles the car ride with almost no signs of fear, anxiety or stress. Kitty purrs and cheek-bonks the veterinary technicians, and barely notices the doctor’s exam through all the petting and tasty treats. But as soon as you get home, Kitty’s former feline friends snub him, or worse. Why do cats fight after vet visits? What’s up with all the cat bashing?
September is Animal Pain Awareness Month, so I wanted to share this vital information again. We know pain hurts, but pain in pets and treating pet pain when pets hurt confuses us. They can’t tell us they feel pain, or where it hurts. Not like humans.
Because I get to work at home, there are certain perks I enjoy–such as going barefoot to work. But one afternoon last fall I moved too fast and kicked the whey outta my big toe. This wasn’t just a stubbed toe, either—it lifted and peeled the nail back to the quick, bled everywhere and hurt like the devil! Yes, I said a few choice words as I hobbled down the stairs from my office (trying not to leave a bloody trail) to get bandage material. Ooooooh, that puppy throbbed and made me whimper and howl, let me tell you.
I understand how Magical-Dawg felt several years ago. After a run in the field playing fetch, he started shivering when he came inside. The ninety-degree weather argued that he was not chilled. I checked him head-to-tail, and found nothing wrong. But later in the week, he again started shivering, and even growled at me when I asked him to move—very uncharacteristic.
Finally, after several days and two vet visits, we figured out his problem. He’d torn a dewclaw back to the quick. it hadn’t come off, so the injury remained hidden. Seren-kitty had this happen once, too, when her claw caught on bedding as she leaped from the pillow. She hid. But Magic’s short temper, shivers, and hyper-alert behavior resulted from being in pain. Here’s what you need to know to help your pets.
Do you have a pet 1st aid medicine chest for your dogs and cats? The audiobook version of my first aid book for pets includes some DIY home remedies for old pets. While your veterinarian diagnoses and prescribes for your pet’s health issues, pet first aid and minor problems may benefit from human medicines.
Home remedies for pets save $$ and pet lives because Fido and Sheba rarely tears a claw or eats something iffy during regular clinic hours. It’s helpful to know how to use your pantry supplies and human medicine chest to help your cat or dog. Some people prescriptions can be dangerous (especially for cats!) so it’s a good idea to have a handy list.
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As always, a lot of things I never knew. Thank you!
You’re very welcome.