A colleague called me after someone asked about tips for introducing babies to dogs. The person wanted to know how to teach the dog that the Baby was “alpha.”

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!

Think about it. There is so much WRONG with that statement I really don’t know where to begin. You bring an infant home from the hospital, a creature that makes funny, weird (scary! prey-like) sounds and moves in a (scary! prey-like) strange way and has enticing (scary! food-like) odors–milk, baby lotion, poopy-treats–

And you expect the dog that’s lived in your house, shared your lap/sofa/bed and received his share of attention and love to suddenly say to this helpless and obviously puppy-esque creature–

YOU DA BOSS!

Get Rid of ALPHA Terms

A baby physically and mentally and emotionally–in reality–cannot be “alpha” over anything. That’s a contradiction in terms. “Alpha” implies being in charge or the leader. I hate that term, by the way, as it inaccurately reflects dog (or cat) social structure. Read more about debunking alpha dog theory here.

A dog may certainly tolerate the new baby and even come to love the infant but not at the baby’s behest, but because your dog respects, trusts, and loves YOU and your relationship.

My ComPETability books detail a whole lot more about how dogs (and cats) think, and both books include detailed step-by-step advice on introducing dogs to other pets, as well as people.

My QUICK TIPS books also have details about introducing babies to pets, as well as toddlers and older kids. I give those away for free when you sign up for my newsletter!

You do NOT want a dog to try and teach a child his/her “proper place” (from the dog’s perspective–and hey, it’s normal for dogs to do this!) and so tips for introductions and supervised interactions are vital.

That’s vital not just for parents, but important for grandparents and visiting relatives to know especially over the holidays. Young kids may, indeed, think they are in charge of things and act that way, but the dog still knows better!

Dogs to Kid/Toddler Introductions

It’s important to offer careful introductions to children. Many of these tips apply when you introduce dogs to a baby. But once babies start walking, they can become more interesting—and challenging—for your dogs. Don’t assume that your dog will love the neighborhood kids or your grandchildren as much as they love people your age. Compared to adults, babies and toddlers are Martians. Toddlers and young kids are particularly daunting because they don’t yet understand and take direction as well as older children.

While young children may mean no harm, depending on the age of the kids, they may treat a dog like a stuffed toy by poking eyes, pulling fur, chasing, picking up by one leg. A frightened or injured pet instinctively lashes out with bites and growls to make the scary situation go away.

Kids smell different than adults, have high-pitched funny voices, move in unpredictable ways, and appear threatening. Follow these tips to keep both your puppy and the children safe.

How to Introduce Dogs to Toddlers and Kids

There are always exceptions, but as a general rule, children should be at least six or seven years old before being given responsibility for a dog’s care. However, you can begin at this age with supervised care duties, such as filling the puppy’s water bowl or teaching how to comb and groom the fur coat. The more pleasant experiences your children enjoy with the puppy, the stronger becomes the bond between them.

• Provide A Safe Retreat. Be sure your dog has a canine sanctuary that’s off limits to kids. Even pets that adore children need private time and a place to go that they know they won’t be pestered. Make a bedroom, or the puppy’s crate and bed off-limits to the children and supervise to enforce the rule if the children are too young to understand.
• Teach Kids Limits. Ask toddlers to practice petting a stuffed toy or the child’s own arm or head. Young kids take time to learn that dogs aren’t stuffed animals and can be hurt and lash out from pulled tails or ears, or unwanted hugs.
• Practice Quiet Puppy-Talk. High pitched screams could potentially prompt puppies to aggress toward the child. Challenge children to a game, to see if they can talk in an inside voice that entices puppies to come near for pets. You can explain that just like children can get frightened of scary sounds, puppies can be scared and it takes very talented kids to know how to be pooch-friendly.
• Ignore The Dog. Staring is a challenge that can stress some pets, especially kids that are eye-to-eye level. But when ignored, pups are more likely to be intrigued enough to investigate on their own. So challenge your toddler or older child to an “ignore the pup” game, and see how long they can pretend the puppy is invisible. In most cases, a confident canine will eventually approach.
• Seat The Kids. Puppies take turns playing chase-and-tackle games with each other, so when chased by toddlers they may get too rough without meaning to. So make it a dog rule that young kids must sit before they can pet the dog, and that the dog gets to approach. That also lets the pup to control interactions and move away when the puppy has had enough. Forcing a dog to sit still for a child’s unwanted attention may cause the puppy to avoid the child in future. This instead makes it the dog’s choice and a fun, rewarding experience. Once seated, the child can lure and entice the puppy with a toy.
• Offer Treats. When pups still act reluctant to approach, find a smelly, tasty treat the pet loves but ONLY gets from the child. While sitting on the floor, the child should gently toss the treat to (not AT) the dog. Until or unless you’re satisfied the puppy won’t also nip the child’s hands, make sure that the treat gets eaten from the floor rather than the kid’s fingers.

How have you handled these situations with your pets? This is an opportunity to create a loving and lasting relationship with pets that can build and grow for a lifetime! Please share your tips. (I’ll post about cat to kid intros in the future!)