This morning as I stared into the face of my grinning Shadow-Pup and dodged his bruising tail flagellations, I envied him. And I envied my Karma-Kat and Trinity-Kittty who still hadn’t roused themselves from daily 16-plus-hour sleep marathons. I mean, I really had a moment of green-eyed angst that Shadow lives a dog’s life and the cats lives in a dream-world (literally!) while my husband and I bust our buttons keeping them in kibble. But is this a fair assessment? Just for fun, here’s a comparison.

Dog’s Morning: Runs through the back yard baptizing everything in sight. Eats breakfast. Takes a nap.

Cats’ Morning: “Helps” make Amy’s bed. Meow-meow-meows breakfast demands. Relocates to cat bed. Or cat tree. Or guest bedroom. Or Amy’s bed. Sleeps.

Human’s Morning: Slaps bug bites from tromping through back yard after the dog. Fills dog bowl, reads online news and emails. Eats breakfast. Fends off doggy begging for leftovers. Fills cat bowls—-supervises so Karma doesn’t eat from both dishes. Wonders where Trinity-Kitty is. Showers, checks more email, writes. Facebooks. Writes some more. Checks email again. Facebook posts. Writes. Answers phone, hangs up and blocks spam calls. Stares at computer screen.

Dog’s Noon: Barks. It’s water-the-plants time! Goes outside. Baptizes stuff. Barks some more. Comes inside. Plays keep-away with various toys. Plays tug with rope. Naps.

Cats’ Noon: Checks food options. Bemoans empty bowls. Noisily complains, and gets second breakfast. Sleeps.

Amy’s Noon: Applies ointment to shins from watering plants and stepping in fire ant nest. Fixes lunch. Fends off begging dog. Fends off begging cats. Writes.

Dog’s Afternoon: Barks. Time to play—Tug? Keep-away? Chase the cat? Car ride? Yes yes yes YES!

Amy’s Afternoon: Checks email. Takes dog for car ride to check snail mail. Argues with dog about driving. Goes to gas station. Argues with dog about staying in car. Goes into post office. Comes out of post office. Makes dog move from driver seat. Drives home. Wipes dog drool off car windows. Fills the dog bowl. Writes. Writes some more. Grateful for dog naps.

Cats’ Afternoon: Checks empty food bowl. Demands 3rd breakfast. Checks dog toys. Checks empty dog bowl. Checks dog bed. Revels in dog absence. Hears dog coming home. Races to second cat tree to glare. Sleeps.

Dog’s Evening: Hasn’t played in HOURS, going through serious play-withdrawal!

Amy’s Evening: Shuts down computer. Runs dog outside. Tries to wear dog out. Fails. Brings dog inside. Dumps dog toys, one by one, off of lap where dog deposits them. Tries to eat dinner.

Cats’ Evening: Wakes up. Checks empty food bowl. Meows. Meows some more. Looks for dog, and meows again to get dog’s attention. Hisses when dog approaches. Cats smile when dog gets in trouble. Leaps to Amy’s chair to check her dinner. Human food = the gold standard, hasn’t eaten in FOR-EVER, is STARVING! Tells Amy so.

Dog’s Night: Brings balls (thirteen different kinds), four stuffed toys, three Frisbees and five chew bones into living room. Thrusts them one by one into human’s laps. Again. And again. Waits with expectation. Can’t believe nobody understands the play invite. Humans aren’t very bright. Sighs. Grabs consolation bear and sucks like a pacifier.

Cats’ Night: Glares at dog. Races around up and down stairs. Wrestles with other cat. Thumps toys. Scratches—loudly—on upstairs cat tree. Riles up dog. Success! Only cats know the right way to play! Dog gets in trouble. Rattles wooden window blinds until Amy chases…Cat’s job is done. Sleeps.

Amy’s Night: Dreams about doggy car rides, writing, and lap-purring cats.

Would I really trade places with my fur-kids? Hmnn. Maybe the better question is would they trade with me? After all, I’ve got thumbs to open doors and food bags, scritch hard to reach itchy spots, drive cars and flip Frisbees.